Why You Can't Immediately Relax on Day One of the Holidays

Originally shared in Tuesday Notes on July 21, 2026.

There is a particular kind of restlessness that shows up in the first few days of a holiday. You have arrived, there is nothing to do, and yet some part of you is still wired, still scanning, still waiting for the next thing to handle.

I remember this feeling on my trip to the Dominican Republic. The first few days something in me would not switch off. I was there, but my brain was not. It was somewhere around the middle of the trip that something finally gave and I actually felt myself shut down and land also mentally.

Turns out that is not a mood thing. It is a nervous system thing.

For months before the holiday, deadlines, notifications and decisions keep your body in a constant state of alert. This does not switch off automatically the moment you land. Your body keeps expecting the next thing to handle even when there is no next thing left to handle. Cortisol remains high, sleep remains shallow, your mind keeps scanning for something to fix.

The holiday has started, but the nervous system has not caught up yet.

This changes how I think about the whole novelty versus rest debate. Some people want a packed itinerary from day one. Some want to do nothing for a full week. I used to think that was just personality, some of us recharge through stimulation some through stillness.

But if the body needs those first few days just to come off high alert, both types are fighting the same starting condition. A novelty seeker booking activities from day one might be working against their own decompression window without realising it. A rest seeker who feels guilty for doing nothing for the first few days is not being lazy, they are doing exactly what their body needs before it can do anything else.

So maybe the real skill is not choosing one holiday style. It is planning the sequence around it. Protect the first few days, slow mornings, no fixed plans, permission to feel a bit flat or restless before the good part kicks in. And only then let your actual preference take over once you have genuinely landed.

Here is what that can look like in practice.

Build a soft landing before you build an itinerary. Whatever you book for the destination, book nothing hard for the first day or two. Not a hike, not a tour, not a full day at the theme park. Let the first stretch be arrival, food, sleep, short walks. The good stuff can wait.

Separate your arrival day from vacation day. Travel itself is a big stressor, filled queues, schedules, decisions. Do not count day one as your first day of rest. It is still transit, even once you have physically arrived.

If you are travelling with children, protect their landing too. Kids run their own version of this. A cranky, overstimulated child on day one of a family holiday is not the trip going wrong, it is the same decompression curve, just happening in a smaller body with less language for it. Lower the bar for the first day or two. Simple food, familiar routines, an early night, less stimulation rather than more.

Split the load with your partner if you can. If someone has to stay switched on for logistics, meals, kids, let that job rotate rather than defaulting to only one person for the whole trip (yes, the husbands can manage too 😉). You cannot decompress if you are the only one still managing everyone else's.

Watch for the itinerary trap. A common instinct with kids is to overplan, one activity per day to justify the trip and keep everyone occupied. However, that can work against the very decompression the holiday is meant to give the whole family, everyone included. A slower first half with more free time often lands better than a packed one.

Let boredom happen. For kids especially, a bit of unstructured, nothing-to-do time is not wasted time, it is often where the actual rest as well as imagination and creativity show up. Resist the urge to fill every gap.

I have not started my holidays yet this year, but I am going in with that in mind this time. No expectation of feeling relaxed by day two, and no fully booked first two days either (except for all the tacos I will most certainly be consuming!).

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Tuesday Brain Snack

A study published in the Journal of Happiness Studies found it can take up to eight days to fully decompress on a trip. Other research puts the first real shift, cortisol dropping, sleep getting deeper, at around day three or four. The slow start is not wasted time. It is the recalibration your body needs before rest can actually begin.

Are you a novelty person or a rest person on holiday? And does your first day usually match how the rest of the trip goes?

Big hug and have a wonderful summer break,

Claudia ✨